Ben Reihanian Week 8 - What to Do When You Blatantly Don't Like Someone

 What to Do When You Blatantly Don't Like Someone


    While thinking about what to write for this week's blog post, I found myself all of a sudden speaking Lashon Hara about someone I really am not very fond of to my mom. "They're so annoying" "Why do they ___ so much?" They drive me crazy" ... etc. etc. I think my mom is pretty used to my overall judgmentalism because she knows that I've honestly come to terms with the fact that if I really am constantly judging others, it comes at a terrible price. I feel constantly judged. But that's a story for another time. 
    Anyways, what should we do with these thoughts of pure and utter animosity, despisement, and resentment? Should we keep it bottled up and push it down? Should we let it out to the person or vent about it to a trusted friend or family member? No one wants to be a bully, so how can we keep ourselves from being one? Luckily I have the answers, specifically from a Wikihow article co-authored by Nicolette Tura, MA. 

1) Brevity is key when interacting with someone you really don't like. In order to keep from becoming very frustrated and bitter, keep your interactions short and sweet. 

2) If you know exactly what it is about them that you find so bothersome, alert them about it and create boundaries. 

3) Put yourself in their shoes. Try and find out why the individual acts in such an aggravating way. Ask yourself questions about the situation, "Could they be unaware that their behavior annoys you? Do they have a good reason for doing those things?" (Tura). By looking at their actions from another perspective you could discover that maybe they aren't a problem at all and you're just being a little too irritable. For example, if they talk to you too much, maybe they're just trying to be friendly. 

4) If a topic is brought up in a conversation that you'd rather not discuss do your best to change the subject to make it easier to deal with the person.

5) Simply try your best to stay away from them, avoid them so that you don't take a chance at hurting their feelings or ruining your own day. It's the best for both of you. 

6) If you find yourself reaching the threshold of keeping your emotions bottled up, take a step back, have an introspective moment, and recollect. Breathe. Tura suggests "repeat[ing] several cycles of deep breathing while reciting a positive affirmation”

7) Remember that no human being is perfect, including you. If there's just a characteristic that bothers you about someone then chances are something about you bothers someone too. When you're around that specific person, truthfully ask yourself why you are so agitated. 
    7a) "Sometimes you may not like a person because there’s something about them that reminds you of yourself" 

8) Try and find the positives in them. You seldom encounter a person with no redeeming qualities, so identify at least one and maybe you'll learn to appreciate them more. 

Most people, have a specifically difficult time just being kind. Do you ever find yourself getting really annoyed with someone? What do you do to keep yourself from hurting their feelings? 






Comments

  1. AnonymousNov 10, 2021, 11:20:00 PM

    It totally depends how I am feeling, but of course, when do you not get annoyed with someone. I usually try to just ignore it and be a kind person and let it go. But, if I am really annoyed, I might just say a little something, if they are repetitive. Totally depends the time of the day, and from what they are doing that is annoying.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousNov 15, 2021, 11:37:00 AM

    I feel like this step by step guide is really helpful. Obviously, there are going to be different outside factors like mood, environment, and the type of person you're talking to. But it is best to be nice than mean, but not too nice because then they won't get the message.

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousNov 16, 2021, 5:30:00 PM

    As one who gets really bothered by certain things, I tend to get frustrated. I have learned how to overcome frustration by just simply walking away from the situation. I have also learned that a way of decompressing is by simple venting out to another person. Instead of coming back at that person and being rude, I simple just be the bigger person in the situation and be kind. I have learned that hatred will get you nowhere in life, so why even do it?

    ReplyDelete

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